Skip to main content

cute boyfreind...

what public school classroom did you find him in?
nice to see the maturity as you fill your lungs with cancer.
real fucking mature.. not.
and i wonder whose the better person? i know i am.
it's interesting to see what yer fucking priorities are and i'm pretty fucking sure they ain't what they should be. thanks for the phone calls.... till today i was convinced that there might be a peaceful resoltion to internal turmaiol between us but now i am convinced this cold war is only just beginning... i quickly tire of your attempted one upmanship... you should understand it doesn't affect me.. there is a self defense mechanism enabling ignorance...i only see or feel what i want to... hurts for a little while i let off steam and i'm done... you only affect me when i want you too.. my life is too intoxicating and confusing to let you affect it thoroughly. u only affect me through implied responsibilty.. one i am only to happy to enjoy. it's clear to me who is the grown up in the situtation and who still thinks like they are seventeen years old.. but then agian... i've accepted my station in life.. i don't hang onto past glories like they were everything i own.. people evolve we must change... you've grown stagnant and predictable...jealosy is a weapon you were never very good at utilizing...now the irony is a joke... it's obvious, find yourself, then look for me.... i might not be there tho... might take a generation.


current mood: conflicted.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...