Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

any time a light of fresh air comes into the world and provides me with hope a shitstorms seems to follow it.. i guess my luck couldn't hold out... the thing i was hoping for today to change my life for the better is a pipe dream, feels like i'm baning my head agianst a glass ceiling that wants to remain at the current station of my life... current mood: frustration.

another interesting night in hess village... i don't understand the mentality in this city, of course then again it is quite possible that i have evolved away from that mentality and mature.. who the fuck knows... growing up is hard to do when everyone you know has been left behind. Current Mood: Pissed Off Current Music: Bullet with Butterfly wings, Smashing Pumpkins.

having a good feeling about today's interview and have another one coming up. maybe things are improving. hopefully by the end of the year i can get employment shit organized, last year was the resolvement of the personal, this year is the positivety towards employment. maybe things will turn around, they are already looking up. Current Mood: positive Current Music: 8 easy steps, Alanis Morrisette.

thanks to a phone call things may be improving. Current Mood: Better. Current Music: Rock and Roll Rebel, Ozzy Fucking Osbourne.

nothing is more frusrtating as playing the social services lottery. gotta love this city. At least the Job situation is improving. 2 interviews this week, another one next week. Current mood: frustrated by the situation. Current Music: Spineless, Alanis Morisette.

i love father's day. pizza and hanging out in montebello park were the highlight of my week. he is so cute when he wants to be, did i mention my little ego learned how to sing Hello Goodbye by the beatles this weekend? he is also mucho impressed by his new room in his new house. and there is nothing like watching something his grandfather and I Both grew up on... he loves the flintstones natch. so happy right now it's like i'm blessed. Current Mood: Bleesed. Current Music: Miracle Man, OZZY.

sitting around in st. catherines waiting for a pickup, why is it cold in Hamilton but warm as hell here, did i mention i signed off on the new aparment today? and a shitload of job interviews next week or so... things are improving slowly... Current Mood: Happy Current Music: Flight of the Phoenix, Final Stage. http://www.finalstage.ca/media/phoenix160.mp3

another sunday wasted by doing absolutly nothing except closing my eyes and dreaming of a better tommorow. Current Mood: apathy. Current Music: Metallica, One

Act 1: gotta love the drama when the first summer's heat comes down.... so here is a play by play.. i'm sitting around playing my guitar for shits and giggles and first a broad passes out drunk after her freinds are carrying her spread eagle for the world to see... defintly an omen of a good night... a bunch of cops, 2 fire trucks, and the abulance, gotta love the effects of roofies. act 2: the running man. nothing like seeing a guy run like ben fucking johnson down hess st. only to get tackeld by 4 cops.. and then try to fight them off. yeah that's a battle yer not going to win. Do not pass go Do not collect 200$ Go directly to Barton Jail. act 3: hess village is closed off by 6 cruisers because the whole bar is involved in a fight? i thought i had seen stupidity in st. catherines and windsor but this city takes the fucking cake... did i mention i only made 9 bucks... i'm still annoyed trying to find the right mix for housing... patience with so called freinds is lacki

it's summer.. i should not be as frustrated as i currently am. there is too much bullshit swirling around my head at the moment. i need to get back to centered place and figure everything out. doors open and doors close.. but it seems everything around me in this city has stayed the same... the only diffrence between me and hamilton in the last twenty years has been me. it's interesting. frustration sets in when i realize that unemployment is rampant in this city so i am looking towards toronto ansd peel. starting to thinking about getting more involved with something like OCAP and other anti-poverty associations.. it's too bad that the one i would really like to be an advocate for isn't availible as an organization in ontario, which sucks... but whatever.. Capre deim. Current Mood: apathy.