Bob the Builder II

So we really are building and cleaning today, Grandma came by and brought us some shelves to build to put our stuff on. which was cool... it's nice when someone wakes up after I do. little sleeping beuties are handy... it's too bad i had to give up a shift at work but i am not going to parcel him off to a babysitter or send him home early because i have to work.. i can't take the shift and i called and told them why, so it's sucks cuz i eat a few bucks but it's my little boy and that's more important.

Current Mood: Happy.

Bob the Builder.

Getting things done around the house.
the bed is together and we are building roads out of old vhs and i am going thru stuff so i can have an online garage sale on kijiji. i'm pretty happy with his behavior he is playing a bob the bulder PC game on the computer next to me. this week is going to be amazing even if we do hang around the house watching treehouse till 2:30 on tuesday... but that's ok.. it's a new thing at daddys right?

current mood: happier than i have been in a while.

BumbleBee.

Some days it's good to a Be a Child and youth worker... took one of my kids to camp and had a good night... looking forward to the week off.

Current Mood: Very Positive.

Revenge of the Fallen.

Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our
choosing.

Things are still not as shitty as i felt they were the other day but everything isn't positive either.. there are still some serious frustrations to deal with at work and with other people but i'm gonna take the negative of not having work and turn it into a positive which likely means i wont be online much next week as i will be busy hanging out at the wading pool with the boy. i am happy with my new apartment and trying to keep a roof over my head where everything ends up and where this leads we will see. for now i'm just going to enjoy my summer.

Current Mood: Tired.
Current Music: 21 Guns, Green Day.

Going Postal...

Ah this fucking Day just keeps getting better and better... tell me agian why i am employed and why I want to be a goddamn bleeding heart when the knife is going back and forth into the back.. it's not enough that my fucking child is losing out on a visit today because the pay isn't in yet... there's a good likely hood we won't even get paid today... glad i did not even bother to entertian the thought of going to niagara this morning... that would have ended up as a big ball of failure...i may starve myself waiting on a paycheque but i will never do the same thing to my son.. i am really thinking it is time to reacess priorities.. esp at work... It is unerving to be sacrificing time with my child for the oppurtuinty to help raise other flawed children due to abuse for less than a decent wage.. when i don't feel anything but used lately at work and that was when i was getting shifts and my pay on time... like what the fuck? Bills can't wait.. what the fuck makes the asshole in payroll thing he can drop off the pay whenever the fuck he feels like it? esp. when theres a downturn at work? you know what it smells like to me? someones covering there asses... it will take a lot for me to quit or leave this job but that has more to do with loyalty to my clients than anything else..... right now i am feeling... Burned.
And Yeah it doesn't fucking help that it's almost 6 pm in the evening and there hasn't been an answer to any of my inquiries as to a change in plans... yeah whatever little insanity pills i had left i'd better take... before i fucking lose it on two diffrent sources.

Current mood: Burned, Pissed off at st. catherines.

When I was still a rather precocious young man, I already realized most vividly the futility of the hopes and aspirations that most men pursue throughout their lives.

Confusion.

SO anyways... i am wondering what the hell is going on in my life agian.. i am finding things are agian becoming anarchy in my personal and professional lives? what the fuck is with having my shifts cut back to nothing.. fuck lay me off already... at least that way i'd have to go get EI instead of begging on my hands and knees to the fucking goverment.. i'm in love with that... please help me pay the rent so i can afford to go to work... and of course.. if not i'm homeless when i finally found something i can stay at long term with just enough room.

One however must wait and expect the other shoe to drop at the same time however, St.Catherines isn't answering, i'm glad i'm not there in person but i'd like to be able to discuss options with all this goddamn freetime off esp. with the fact that the cottage may or may not be a possibilty if things pick up at work.. at this point...i can't afford to take a vacation.. so we will see if we go this year... maybe it's better that people aren't around me today... i'm fucking Miserable.. maybe i'll get my paycheque and drink the four beers in the fridge and go see transformers and not give a shit about the world... gotta make sure everythings Kosher with my little man and next week tho. i will fiogure it all out but right now i need to explore every and any Options.

Current Mood: Miserable.

Happiness is a prison. Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.

Halo.

Yeah adpating to a new neighboorhood and a new apartment agian... so i am redicovering the simple joys of spending way too much fucking time playing Halo and dead or alive 2... there's not much else to do until i get everything unpacked.. my vcr died i'm not happy about that..

Current Mood: Blah.

The Move...

the move is done... minus the bullshit summer rain and the odds and ends at the old house i am happy... now is time to move on and start becoming less involved in the lives of the fucking people who have let me down in the last few days... it's nice to have people you can count on...and it's even nicer to know the fucking cunts that say they will be there for you, help you, etc... and then don't show...

Current Mood: Exhausted.