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Damaged.



You weren't picky about who got hurt. Still aren't. So don't preach at us like you're some kind of saint. You're just another sinner.


I am simply what came next. This is your creation. I weaponized myself against the pure soul I once was because you destroyed that.  I can clean up nice. I can even pretend that things are different, I can forget yesterday for a moment in a bottle, but it’s not your bottle. 


But never mistake. I am not nice. I am not yours. I never will be again. I am in control of my life rather than riding the waves of chaos I did as a child and when we were together.  I am in the drivers seat rather than pretending that one day you might come back and save me….


… there wasn’t a soul left to save on the first place. You destroyed that a decade ago.  You knew I was broken and you chipped away at all the good that was left until you got to the black core. And that’s all that is left of me now. 


That’s who I choose to be. An evil man who does good things for those that I love. And the man who stays away and watches other loved ones from the outskirts because I don’t want to poison their souls the way that you poisoned mine. 


You may be my ride or die, but this death ride is a fucking hearse, and I bought you the long black coat a long time ago.  You’ll always be there, I’ll always be here. And eventually one of us will drag the other back down again. 


Inevitable. No illusions. You’ve destroyed every other relationship I’ve ever had. And most of my attachments… and you wonder why I have built up walls to protect those that I have left. I know eventually most of them will fade away anyways and I’ll be left with you regardless. But that’s why I enjoy my life now… and if I crash and burn while doing so…


… well that was always the fucking plan. Blaze of glory, I’m just getting too old to pretend that it was ever going to be anything fucking else…


You’re the one that’s still broken not me, I just don’t have the energy to try and fix you and end up with nothing for my efforts anymore.


You aren’t the only one I’ll easily walk away from either. I have little to no time for anyones bullshit at this point of my life. I actually respect your silence sometimes. Others not so much. At least when it comes to you and I we think we know where the boundaries are. 

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