Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

It was the sort of anger that comes to a slow boil inside the hearts of good men who want justice, and finding it out of their grasp, decide vengeance is the next best thing. I'm sick of all the players and pawns in this chess game. Maybe at this point it's time to take some of the pieces off the table and clear the board. At the end of the day it's a king vs a queen trying to protect the other king. Maybe this long in the tooth, it's time to go down to the fucking basics. Me vs. her. This has to end, and if there are people that are just pawns, or with divided loyalties... Or personal agendas, I don't need them. Or want them involved. I want my pound of flesh, I want her on the stand in court, I need to see her squirm, I need to see her testify. If hope is gone, I have no problem settling for vengeance. Current Mood: Determined. Some justice, though did not deal with kindheartedness or good feeling toward others. No, justice had a darker side, a gray area

In the middle of the journey of our life I found myself within a dark woods where the straight way was lost. I am uncomfortable with the fact i feel I am being bullied to decision that is not the correct path for me or my child because another person does not have my interests or my child's at heart, only his own. I am unsure of the reasons but I do know that the longer i consider it, the longer i am convinced it is not the correct course of action, and that it is being done for selfish reasons and it is no longer likely that i will agree to it. i believe that it leaves with fewer options that before and leaves me and this entire case vulnerable.. as much as i am prepared for this to end badly, i do not feel that making the decision to end this as it stands now will have anything other than an adverse effect on my case and my life and i do not trust the person pressuring me into making this decision, I need to consider options and decide for myself.. I have lost faith in the pro

In every man's heart there is a devil, but we do not know the man as bad until the devil is roused. i am fucking fed up with being talked down to by people who arent even fucking listening, thats my money in fucking play that i had to fucking scrape upa and fucking borrow.... this is me and my sons life on the line and another long story bullshit about nothing is now confidential after the last few months being top secret and confideintial due to the culture of confideinetality in this fucking province... this is the end game for her.. i'm only willing to play ball for so fucking long.. he's been gone 6 years.. i am not under any fucking reason going to delay court anymore. fuck that shit... we go to trial. this is a game and this is just another way of her using pawns to not get to the fucking end game, well for this time i say too fucking late... i'm out of patience and it's not my life on the line.. it's my sons... that's all its about.. but this was

It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you've made, and there's this panic because you don't know yet the scale of disaster you've left yourself open to. Sometimes I have to do things like tonight to remind myself that I am normal and just angry and depressed and driven once in a while to maintain my sanity. it hopefully will be the lasttime i attend something like that without my son and his presence was felt and missed tonight.. we will see what the next month or so goes, but tonight would have been an experince he would have enjoyed, and i really missed the fact he wasnt there..seeing something that i have been into snce i was a child and shared with him before,i really missed him tonight. hopfully tonight is the last time i do something epic and interesting without him,the next few months will prove the reality of that. i needed to recharge and tonight helped with that. it was nice to see som