Skip to main content

The Mission.

Don't be so quick to sell your soul in hopes of gainful employment, It can be worse than staring into the abyss of nothingness employment wise, Right now I am commiting career suicide at midnight minium wage, but that might change tommorow but i fucking doubt it, Worrying so much about a job you will be a subserviant little drone to isn't a good thing, actually wanting one is even worse, there are days i don't even break even to what i would be getting with the broken wheel on ODSP.... there are a few bright spots in my life but a lot of what i endure right now is darkness and abject hatred,I don't like my world and am desperatly trying to escape it, but for any of those people that truly know me they know that what I do for a living is a calling and it is a war, and I am merely on a fucking mission, one that never ends... of course sometimes it's hard to deal with, witness my descent into alcholism last year, of course that's ok, I'd rather dull the pain than actually face the fact that this may be the best I am capable of and that Tommrow it's more of the same, It's not like I'm actually expecting to make a diffrence ever, I'm merely a place holder until someone better comes along. Wish I could say that employment Was the only place i felt that way.

Current Mood: Depressed.
Current Music: The Mission, Queensryche.
They'll say my mission saved the world
And I stood proud
My mission changed the world
The underground will rise and
Save this world we'll all stand proud
Our mission changed the world, we'll change the world
We'll all stand proud

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...