Pretend We’re Dead.

There was always something wrong with me. I accept that now.

But the difference between me and you is that I admit that I’m a monster and no it wasn’t you that made me. You just perfected me and took away any soul that I had left at the time.

You aren’t the only one in my life I am dead to. And not the only one that pretends I’m dead. That being said, I don’t need anyone in my life or out of its justification to have anything in my fucking life.

I have walked away from everyone on my life before and there are times that I regret. Not continuing down my own road. My life

Might have been different.

It also may have been disaster and ruin, but I’ve done a great job of that anyways.

Truth be told I don’t give a shit anymore to be anything to anyone. I have my own responsibilities and my own problems and right now I’m standing still for someone I love rather than moving on,

And away. This is the last moment I allow status quo to rule my life.

At this point in my life I only have time for the ones that we’re in my life when I needed them and were still there. And the ones that need me now.

My responsibilities that’s it. I don’t know how much time any of us have left. But there is definitely no fucking time for anyone whose not got the time for

Me or worse.

If you have anger or fear for me? It’s better I stay fucking forgotten. I mean it’s not like I have ever had a problem with disappearing from

Peoples lives.

I know I’m not fucking important in the scheme of things. I never have been.

There are very few people in my life that have made me feel otherwise. And that’s why right now, my main goal In life is taking care of one of those few that have made feel valued so he has a more comfortable and productive life.

The rest of you that never had my back? Fuck right off. You know who you are.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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