Skip to main content

Arma-God Damn-Mother Fuckin'-Geddon


We are Not impressed. it seems that certian priorities are extremely fucked up. I cannot belive this shit and it seems i should be examining my options esp. career wise. i did not fight this fucking hard to get where i have gotten to have it made a mockery of by bad planning and business decisions. i am very frustrated and that is something that should not be. i work very hard and the existance of freetime is a joke. i need to go back to some of my originals writings and essays and find some balance within them.. i need to reexamine my ethics and beliefs and get back to a place i am comfortable instead of being dictated to by superiors who don't have a clue, i know the ministry guidelines a lot better than most, and i need to go back and read my opions and facts on them to get back to a place i feel fucking comfortable becuase right now i don't feel that way... and this is not a one burned out day this is a contuinal process.. and i am coping with it the only way i know how and that's with DEMON ALCOHOL... and i know it's unhealthy... but seeing how i can't breathe much less have any time to hang around my support circles it's the only option. sleep, work, slep at work, get bitched at, deal with issues, work, sleep. welcome to my life.. it sucks.. not as bad as it used but i am not impressed to be working a weekend i have my son and the first fucking thing I hear in the morning is fucking bullshit about cleaning when I have been doing it all morning and it is not part of my job description they need to fucking pay me better if they want molly maid at 7 am. as i said before... Priorities are skewed... but then agian.. i need to reexamine everything and make noise... i have a voice i fucking use it... this is the job i want but i've gotta get more agressive in more ways than one... but i am not going to sacrifice my morals, ethics and beliefs for the job.. i may love this job and in a way it's a dream job.. but i won't sacrifice everything else for a paycheque.. if i see something wrong i deal with it.

Current Mood: Frustrated. (i should not feel this way all the time after work, esp. in this feild.)

when all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed..

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more