Skip to main content

Confusion.


SO anyways... i am wondering what the hell is going on in my life agian.. i am finding things are agian becoming anarchy in my personal and professional lives? what the fuck is with having my shifts cut back to nothing.. fuck lay me off already... at least that way i'd have to go get EI instead of begging on my hands and knees to the fucking goverment.. i'm in love with that... please help me pay the rent so i can afford to go to work... and of course.. if not i'm homeless when i finally found something i can stay at long term with just enough room.

One however must wait and expect the other shoe to drop at the same time however, St.Catherines isn't answering, i'm glad i'm not there in person but i'd like to be able to discuss options with all this goddamn freetime off esp. with the fact that the cottage may or may not be a possibilty if things pick up at work.. at this point...i can't afford to take a vacation.. so we will see if we go this year... maybe it's better that people aren't around me today... i'm fucking Miserable.. maybe i'll get my paycheque and drink the four beers in the fridge and go see transformers and not give a shit about the world... gotta make sure everythings Kosher with my little man and next week tho. i will fiogure it all out but right now i need to explore every and any Options.

Current Mood: Miserable.

Happiness is a prison. Happiness is the most insidious prison of all.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more