An American Prayer

Sometimes as long as one is focused one can turn ones fortunes around easily... of course it doesn't hurt when one get's angry and focuses that in a positive manner as well... as long as I continue to look forward and stop letting the world behind me get me down i'll be fine, of course I'm not exactly going to let myself rest on my laurels now that i'm back to work, time for the job search to continue and some of my new goals in my life need to get me to where i want, i shouldn't just be happy at the plateau, i should be aiming higher, and not just limiting myself, yes i want to write a book about my experiences in my life and in my feild all 25 years of it, but i also want to maybe get something happening musically agian, and i should start transcribing my poetry books into a computer and get them either to my freinds to be turned into songs or write my own poetry book or spoken word album like an american prayer. i need to stop pretending like there's nothing out there for me to achive and start having the goals i have locked away with the skeletons in my closet come out and play agian,

Current mood: Determined.
Current Music: Offspring, The Kids Aren't Alright
you are young beuatiful, and full of life - people should pay you to hang out with them because their lives are so dull. Live by it and you can have an absurd existence too....

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog