The Walking Dead part II

Why does Two days off often feel like i have just slept days for the last 48 hours and otherwise it's just another day at work? oh yeah i remeber, I'm getting ready for the other job and doing a ton of shit for it, as well as it being close to the end of my pay period so i had to go busking last night, I really need to find ways to have breaks without little man, I push too hard and just end up passing out exhausted, but i have goals and determination and dreams and I'm persuing them. time for rest later, I'll sleep when I'm dead. I am seriously still considering the youth jail Job with the ministry but i am leaning towards not being a jail guard... this will be the second time I've turned something down to stay in hamilton, either that's telling of how little faith I have in myself or how comfortable I am here, which isn't true at all... every ten days a little part of my soul is missing so i can never be completely happy here. But going somewhere else for the promise of an oppurtuinity doesn't hold a lot of weight with me right now... plus I don't really want to be a jail guard my current employment makes me feel enough like a jailer as it is. Will decide soon.

Current Mood: Bored.
Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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