Queen of the Reich III

Nothing like a last minute message to ruin my plans for the weekend, if the game playing is going to continue i am going to involve the fucking authorities and have police enforcement, its is interesting to note that your phone number is currently not working as well, you can't deprive my son of his father for over a month, this is just nonsense and game playing and it is a direct attack upon me to wait till friday fucking morning to let me know hes sick, you have a family gathering, the more i hear it the more it smacks of bullshit and the lack of commuincation makes me think you are trying to push me away agian, newsflash, I am going to start persuing the letter of the law in terms of my cort order so you will be seeing a lot fucking more of me... my son has a right to see his father, i dont apprecaite the games that you have been fucking playing and I have the feeling the revolving door is spinning agian and you have a new boyfreind and you are trying to push me away yet agian, i got a newsflash for you Cunt... i have been pushed away since the last day of 04, i dont know what i ever saw in you and why i ever thought i could possibly fucking be in love with you, i cannot belive the woman who bore my child treats me like this, and worse I cannot understand why you do this shit to your own son, he loves us both equally shouldn't that be enough? at least I know, I'm not going to be the one he grows up to hate.

Current Mood: Angry.
I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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