....And Justice for All, 2011.

While I am making an effort to enjoy my weekend and some of the free time afforded me, some of the darker aspects of the situation are starting to sink in, and when i look into the dark mirror of reflection, even tho i am innocent one starts to realize how easy it is in this world to be affected by the jackbooted gestapo of the military elite in blue and there wonderful partners in crime in the social services... there was a time and a place long ago I wanted to be a child and youth worker and work for a children aid wasn't there? Now it's the furthest thing from my mind, i couldn't imagine putting someone else thru the hell I'm currently going through, guilty until proven innocent, I can understand why the policiy is there and i can even fucking respect it, but there has to be a burden of proof and not just a crucifixition, oh wait... that's right Jesus never got a fair trial of his peers either, this shit hurts so fucking bad affecting me to the point i cant sleep during the day or the evening if at all... it's unfair when all i tried to be a good dad, and all I get is shit... because of my fucking asshole genetics... not all people are born bad... but try telling that to a sympathetic children's aid worker who belive everything the 70 grand a year mother says......I can't win... but i can keep my mouth shut when she's addressing something she can't use in court.. so from here on out, unless i choose to share it, my childhood is offlimits to them, it has no bearing on the man I am today. It may have shaped me, but I am not who I am because of those experinces, I am who I am because I survived those experinces.... And Justice For All.

Current Mood: Sad.
Current Music: Dyer's Eve, Metallica.
Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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