Collecting my Thoughts.

It's time for wastefulness of the tired tragedy of the last six months to end, i am in the process of writing the war manifesto and collecting my thoughts into one single cohesive weapon to be used against those who have wronged me and to prove exactly what is right and wrong in this world... it was nice to spend the weekend around family and it did help to lift my spirits but it also confirmed my resolve to have an ending, i can't wait any longer to regain my life, I can't sit by painlessly and pretend everything is alright in this world, with myself, with my son, within the system i work in, Once i am vindicated and my name is clear i will have some tough choices to make both personally and professionally... there are other options out there, maybe with the shock to the system the last six months has been it's time to analyze some of them and deal with them, i can't be frustrated constantly by the fact i went to school for a better life and that has in the short term of the year 2011 backfired spectacularly because one person holds a grudge and is wanting to control me years after the fact, any one that truly knows me knows that No one will ever control me... and Anyone that Knows how and Why I grew up the way I did Knows why.

Current Mood: Militant.
Did you think to kill me? There's no flesh or blood within this cloak to kill. There's only an idea. Ideas are bulletproof.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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