Modern Warfare II.

It's time that i start being proactive with all aspects of everything going around me and start brining an iron hand down on things that are out of my control that I can start to control, I am beyond fucking pissed off and waiting on someone to do nothing and being patient is no longer working. Fuck Defense, it's time to a more vigorous offensive strategy. It's time to push people, I'm sick of being pushed it's time to push back. it saddens me that some of my demons i have kept bottled up for so longer might as well should have not been left buried, it would have been better to be the feral street kid that i never really let go of until i met the psychotic in st. catherines and tried to better myself, A less trusting more street hardened warrior would have never trusted a woman like her. It's time to use all available weapons i have available to me to mount a counter offensive and start taking the battle to her.. I will use all the knowledge in this big brain of mine to attack her and clear my name, i'm not going to continue to sit still and have people that think they are better than me make all the decisions... it's time for me to take control of every aspect of this thing.. it's already out of control and like a bleeding artery it's flowing like a river of blood.... It's time to stop the bleeding. The longer I let other people control this the longer i will be waiting... I'm sick of fucking waiting.

Current Mood: Angry, Determined.
It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact. You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family. Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...

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