Modern Warfare II.

It's time that i start being proactive with all aspects of everything going around me and start brining an iron hand down on things that are out of my control that I can start to control, I am beyond fucking pissed off and waiting on someone to do nothing and being patient is no longer working. Fuck Defense, it's time to a more vigorous offensive strategy. It's time to push people, I'm sick of being pushed it's time to push back. it saddens me that some of my demons i have kept bottled up for so longer might as well should have not been left buried, it would have been better to be the feral street kid that i never really let go of until i met the psychotic in st. catherines and tried to better myself, A less trusting more street hardened warrior would have never trusted a woman like her. It's time to use all available weapons i have available to me to mount a counter offensive and start taking the battle to her.. I will use all the knowledge in this big brain of mine to attack her and clear my name, i'm not going to continue to sit still and have people that think they are better than me make all the decisions... it's time for me to take control of every aspect of this thing.. it's already out of control and like a bleeding artery it's flowing like a river of blood.... It's time to stop the bleeding. The longer I let other people control this the longer i will be waiting... I'm sick of fucking waiting.

Current Mood: Angry, Determined.
It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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