The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning

We cannot be sure of having something to live for unless we are willing to die for it.

When one wonders if he should take the law into his own hands, that's not a safe environment for anyone involved. It doesn't fucking matter I have to continue, with or without assistance. I am never fucking backing down. But I am not happy that one of the people that I trusted to handle this case for the last six years has unequivocally fucked me.. The writings been on the wall for years... And this particular course of action was not unexpected... But it still fucking sucks. But I've been alone against the world before, so be it... For the sake of my son, I'd fight the denizens of hell. I'm not giving up, I'm not backing down. I don't give a fuck if I have to do it alone. Even at the point I lose faith and stop giving a shit, I don't back down and will not back down. This is my burden, my battle and my cross to bear. It has to be done... It cannot be abandoned. It will not be. This is about character and at the end of the day him knowing I fought and never backed down. But I don't like looking at the darkness ahead alone... But things don't end because I am alone... I don't stop.

I have no fucking time for anyone who doesn't have my back 100% completely. I'll walk away from them no matter the cost. I've done so before. I have no problem doing so agian. there is only one person I refuse to walk away from, point blank that's it... the rest of the world, if it comes down to it.. I'll see it burn, as long as she burns with it. there is no way that this is how it ends, I am fed up and I am waiting, But it's time to move forward....being patient has never been one of my calling cards anyways...

Current Mood: Depressed, Angry

Many will call me an adventurer, and that I am... only one of a different sort: one who risks his skin to prove his truths.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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