Skip to main content

The Chess Game.. Continues.

You've wounded me. I give you full marks for that. But, like the man said, what doesn't kill me... just makes me stronger.

I did not start this war. But I will finish it.

Figures, today it was a Paperwork snafu, No surprise there, not that i had any real time to prepare for those that have passed the buck... gotta love when it comes down to it, a little boys relationship with his father isn't worth spit to the professionals. Expected. there's only one voice speaking out for my son and that's me... and I'll keep coming.. if six years hasn't taught you anything or the 17 preceding that, it's the fact that I don't know how to fail, even in my deepest darkest doubts and despair, I'm still standing, still here fighting. I have no illusions that there is going to be a winning side to this, it's never going to end, not until my boy is a man, this will be drawn out another four years, as long as she can manipulate others... that's the game. everyone else to her is just a pawn, and it's all about manipulation. this is a fucking game. I know how to play it too... maybe it's time to switch tactics, maybe it's time to play dirty. i have tried to be a good and honoruable man and do the right thing in all this, but at this point in time... it might be time to lower myself to her level and play in the sewer, she's not even worth the time of day to fight in the gutter i found her in... she's the one with blood on her hands not me... and i have stayed silent on that a very long time... maybe there's a time to break the rules and make her feel everything that i have felt for the last 6 years... she has everything to answer for and hiding behind others only works so fucking far.

i taught you how to play dirty... let's see how you like it when i decide to be the dirtiest player in the fucking game.

this game will end, it's only a matter of time... it's ridiculous that this is likely going to go to fucking trial again, I'm getting fed up. i guess i just have to continue to go thru the motions until it does... it's sad, that after everything I've sacrificed that it has come to this.. the fact that this is just a game to her... and that nothing matters except removing me completely from his life... i have given everything up, my education, my career (that wasn't by choice that was your doing),My freinds, the place i called home, My relationships with others, even family.. have all gone.. because i'm fighting this senseless battle with you, what the hell do you ever hope to achieve? that he becomes an adult and hates us both? because if that's the albatross you plan on giving him, I'm fucking fine with him hating me, but I won't be Alone in who he hates.. and i will tell him the truth when the time comes and all the paperwork is provided for him...

There will be a reckoning... somehow someway, he will know what's went down. and on that day, you will lose.

Current Mood: Angry.

I have experience, and patience. A man can do anything if he has those.

War Is Hell. And I'm the Devil.

No matter how thoroughly you think you exterminate the evil, it comes creeping back like a cockroach.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more