Skip to main content

The Chess Game.. Continues.

You've wounded me. I give you full marks for that. But, like the man said, what doesn't kill me... just makes me stronger.

I did not start this war. But I will finish it.


Figures, today it was a Paperwork snafu, No surprise there, not that i had any real time to prepare for those that have passed the buck... gotta love when it comes down to it, a little boys relationship with his father isn't worth spit to the professionals. Expected. there's only one voice speaking out for my son and that's me... and I'll keep coming.. if six years hasn't taught you anything or the 17 preceding that, it's the fact that I don't know how to fail, even in my deepest darkest doubts and despair, I'm still standing, still here fighting. I have no illusions that there is going to be a winning side to this, it's never going to end, not until my boy is a man, this will be drawn out another four years, as long as she can manipulate others... that's the game. everyone else to her is just a pawn, and it's all about manipulation. this is a fucking game. I know how to play it too... maybe it's time to switch tactics, maybe it's time to play dirty. i have tried to be a good and honoruable man and do the right thing in all this, but at this point in time... it might be time to lower myself to her level and play in the sewer, she's not even worth the time of day to fight in the gutter i found her in... she's the one with blood on her hands not me... and i have stayed silent on that a very long time... maybe there's a time to break the rules and make her feel everything that i have felt for the last 6 years... she has everything to answer for and hiding behind others only works so fucking far.

i taught you how to play dirty... let's see how you like it when i decide to be the dirtiest player in the fucking game.

this game will end, it's only a matter of time... it's ridiculous that this is likely going to go to fucking trial again, I'm getting fed up. i guess i just have to continue to go thru the motions until it does... it's sad, that after everything I've sacrificed that it has come to this.. the fact that this is just a game to her... and that nothing matters except removing me completely from his life... i have given everything up, my education, my career (that wasn't by choice that was your doing),My freinds, the place i called home, My relationships with others, even family.. have all gone.. because i'm fighting this senseless battle with you, what the hell do you ever hope to achieve? that he becomes an adult and hates us both? because if that's the albatross you plan on giving him, I'm fucking fine with him hating me, but I won't be Alone in who he hates.. and i will tell him the truth when the time comes and all the paperwork is provided for him...

There will be a reckoning... somehow someway, he will know what's went down. and on that day, you will lose.

Current Mood: Angry.

I have experience, and patience. A man can do anything if he has those.

War Is Hell. And I'm the Devil.

No matter how thoroughly you think you exterminate the evil, it comes creeping back like a cockroach.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...