Skip to main content

Back For War...

You know your ancient Greeks? They understood that war is a god. A god that requires human sacrifice. And in exchange, war gives man purpose. Meaning. A chance to rise above his petty mortal little self. And be courageous. Noble. Better..

I'm done being pateint and waiting and I'm done with the summer, it's time to go back into the mouth of hell and finish this one way or another.. no more stalling no more waiting.. i did so with a reason and a purpose but for every second ticking away it's gone on too long.. it's time to go back to the war and finish it. I feel stronger than i have in a while and I needed the break from it, but a man cannot ignore his responsibilities forever, and thats what's truly important, this is going to be an interesting week and i don't expect to play nice anymore.. this needs to end, i need to go back to having a normal life and for that i need to see the light or lack thereof at the end of the tunnel. being stuck angry in time, in limbo sucks.. for once it was of my own doing but i needed a break from the constant fucking battle.. but i'm far beyond ready to return to it.. it's all i have left.. i might as well embrace it and make sure that for every second of pain i have endured that she feels it, it's never going to be what it's about. but i'm not backing down until the battle is well and truly over, no matter the obstacles put in front of me, this is a bigger thing than what has been placed in front of me by her, and it's not about here or a dead relationship that is almost 20 years old.. it has been and will always be about him and never about you and i think that is the part you grasp to understand.. I just need to remember sometimes in my anger and determination.. i need to make this my only priority again. I'm done waiting..

Welcome to Hell, Bitch.

Current Mood: Angry, Determined.

This is a war zone, and I progress with strategy. I have to be at least five moves ahead of my enemies, with five contingency plans, and five backup plans for those contingencies at all time. I appreciate that we may have similar goals, but we're not alike.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more