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Born Villian.


I'd yield me to the devil instantly,
Did it not happen that myself am he!
- Faust


I will always be the bad guy in every situation because that's who I was born to be. I'm more comfortable being the bad guy, the Villian was always cooler anyways. I'd rather be dark, monstrous and demonic in the lives I touch because that way you see my true colours and you see how little you fucking matter at the end, all of you. None of you.

Maybe it's time to go back to the darkest places in my soul, where no one matters except me. It's time to stop fucking pretending I have any worth to anyone else. It's clear that I can fade away and be one of the missing for months and for many it would not fucking matter.

It's time for me to take care of myself and my mental health. Fuck trying to be there for anyone, because at the end I know exactly where I'll be. Alone.

All I am is hard. That's the place this world has made me. I was born a criminal, I'll die one. It doesn't fucking matter what I've tried to escape my destiny. It's always going to come back to haunt me. I only ever did one thing right, and the tragedy of our lives is that he has had to deal with so much fucking darkness.

I make decisions based on me, and those I hold closest. I've never been the best at that, but I'm getting a lot fucking better. I realize often too late how little of a shit I give about anything. If you had my life, and the life of the person I care about most you'd realize why I don't care. I can shut people out of my life without a second thought. I won't even blink.

I know how to fight, it's all I've ever done. It seems like sometimes I have fought for the wrong reasons. I don't know if it's worth fighting anymore, with anyone. Maybe it's just better to be blamed and hated and fade the fuck away. Maybe I'll find some fucking half ass disjointed peace doing that, because anything else I have tried has failed. Then agian that's just me, that's who the fuck I am.

Born Villian.

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