Skip to main content

Fuck Easter...




I hate this holiday, I have my reasons. 


I’m sorry kid, I really tried this year like I do every chance I have every time she gives me an opportunity to attempt to be part of you’re life, but she’s selfish and her attitude is all or nothing even if it means it hurts you or I.  I will always try and I will always have hope but I am getting to the fucking point where I need to walk away and stop falling for her games.


All I want or need is my family back.... and that is constantly played with. I’m not going to endure it forever. You’re almost an adult, maybe one day you will see and understand... maybe one day she will figure it all out and what really matters...


But I don’t know how many more times I can pull the knife out of my back and continue to forgive you’re mother when she constantly gets my hopes up and betrays me, I love you both... but there is a limit to how long I can endure you’re mothers bullshit without walking away....


....there’s nothing for me here, and I don’t need to be here anymore. There has been anything here for me in ten years, since the moment she took you and everything else that was pure and good in my life away, all that’s left now is the darkness, hopefully it will never infect you....


....but I think because of her you have enough darkness in you’re life already without me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more