Skip to main content

Fuck Easter...




I hate this holiday, I have my reasons. 


I’m sorry kid, I really tried this year like I do every chance I have every time she gives me an opportunity to attempt to be part of you’re life, but she’s selfish and her attitude is all or nothing even if it means it hurts you or I.  I will always try and I will always have hope but I am getting to the fucking point where I need to walk away and stop falling for her games.


All I want or need is my family back.... and that is constantly played with. I’m not going to endure it forever. You’re almost an adult, maybe one day you will see and understand... maybe one day she will figure it all out and what really matters...


But I don’t know how many more times I can pull the knife out of my back and continue to forgive you’re mother when she constantly gets my hopes up and betrays me, I love you both... but there is a limit to how long I can endure you’re mothers bullshit without walking away....


....there’s nothing for me here, and I don’t need to be here anymore. There has been anything here for me in ten years, since the moment she took you and everything else that was pure and good in my life away, all that’s left now is the darkness, hopefully it will never infect you....


....but I think because of her you have enough darkness in you’re life already without me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.
Post a Comment
Read more

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...
Post a Comment
Read more