No More Mr.Nice Guy

where to start? maybe with the irony that it seems that the only person i currently seem to be getting along with in my life is she who shall not be named? it's been an interesting weekend.... there's the whole argument that nearly led to a fucking fist fight with my landlord last night the sooner i find a new fucking place to live the better. i am sick of the abuse and it nearly came to a head last night.... he doesn't know who he's fucking with? then there's all the other fun goodies from the weekend.... like an early morning phone call bitching about me doing something that would have very specifaccaly violates one of my clients rights.... there is getting to be a breaking point with work... i mean i am sick of the internal bullshit and am trying to rise above it but when i am being set up in the crosshairs time and time agian by the same two idiots i'm not happy... I am not happy about the way my clients are treated or the lack of respect given to them. about the only thing i can say i'm happy about the weekend is while i didn't get to take little man out trick or treating i did get to take someone i actually care about and hope to continue to help in making positive choices in his life out for trick or treating instead. that's all this job is supposed to be about not the nonsense and all the socio-political bullshit games people like to play....

Current Mood: Fed Up.
Current Music: Just Dance, Lady Gag Me.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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