Camp Day IV: Xmas Camp?

SO anyways after i minor tantrum this morning that probaly had 5 real reasons and about ten crocodile tears reason he finally settled in at camp, he has been having a good experince i just think the fact that we are doing stuff and going and going like the energizer bunny has caught up to him and he's getting worn out, Good he'll sleep all weekend for Mommy and maybe be back to a normal sleep schedule for her. he is really enjoying this week and minor behaviors are not an issue even tho he does need to outgrow the tantrums and the crocdile tears for attention bit.. i'm not one to reward attention seeking behaviors at any time esp. negative attention seeking behaviors... but tonight will be an easy day we will stay home and go swimming and just chill out and relax and have a night cudddling at home watching Ninja turtles... have one more nice night at home... He loves me so much it's so hard to let go esp. when he's upset but sometimes you have to let them roam free because they can't always be attached at the hip, esp. in my situition, he's got to have experinces by himself when he's here and not just be an extension of me and what i do everyday.

Current Mood: Tired.
Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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