Queen of the Reich V

the patience level for everything that has happened this year and certain people involved in the case are completely NIL. I should be looking forward to the new year with anticipation for the holidays instead of dreading spending any time with anyone because a significant part of my soul and personality is missing, I'm sick of the fact that someone thinks so highly of her self and so low of me that she has to treat a child like a possession and play dangerous games just to destroy me. What doesn't kill me will make me stronger, and you probably should not injure what you cannot kill. I am once again stuck under multitudes of legal nonsense and red tape that accomplishes nothing in the end, because this will happen again and again and again, i just wish he didn't need to suffer through it as much as he has... it's never been about me and you, it's never going to be about me and you... the day you realize is the day you will realize what you have left behind... and the longer you play games esp. with the legal system and the child welfare system is going to create a paper trail, and one day I will show him.... and he will understand... and hate you for it... because i am never fucking going away.

Current Mood: Angry.
None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog