The Ultimate Battle II

I came very close to ending my own life last night, There is so much I don't understand right now... and I cannot imagine what my little boy is going thruough, if i had a gun it would be minus a bullet right now.. and the world would be without one more poet.... Of course i don't have a gun.. so the point is moot... and other than the fact that suicide is the cowards way out, and I am no coward it doesn't mean it hasn't been considered, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, so Hulk Is the strongest of them all.... please inform me if i am turning green. I am getting to a point where it is becoming very difficult to deal with the world and my place in it... the fact is.. thanks to someone else's petty jealousy, greed and lust for revenge my place in this world is gone. one of the reasons i am going home to Windsor for a month is to recharge and go somewhere where i never needed you, there is a reason i call Windsor home. it is the only place i was ever comfortable in my own skin without someone like you dragging me down... of course you did anyways... STAY ANGRY.. one day you will regret it.

Current Mood: Depressed.
The angry people are those people who are most afraid.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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