Skip to main content

Ghosts Of War II

I am sick fo all the preparations i have to make for the upcoming battle, I'm sick of playing the scenes back and forth in my mind and trying to figure out what I did in this world to deserve this,I am sick of friends who come and go in my life with a sense of entitlement when the reality is they have never ever done anything for me, My last twelve years of life have been hell, and I myself allowed it to be that way, Some people around me need to take responsibility for their own actions or i will just walk away from them, i am starting to become extremely angry and bitter and It's nice when a friend who has been mooching off me for weeks decides he can afford to go to a bar.. must be nice... but i need to examine my head and see who and what i want in my life and who once again can go by the wayside, I am fighting for my life, my child and my livelihood, there are a lot of people in my life that i don't need around me because of behavior and maybe i need to think closely about who i want to remain as part of my life, the battles only begun..

Current Mood: Annoyed.
One of the horrors of hell is the undying memory of a misspent life.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...