Use Your Fist and Not Your Mouth.

Determination is the first and last thing when it comes to my life, without it i would not have survived all of the hells i have experienced in my life...I will never back down from anything when i know that i am not in the wrong, It hasn't been my choice to make my life and the life of my child's hell, it is beyond fathomable that things would turn out this way, but of course when you are dealing with the most vindictive of persons there is no choice, I have to stand strong and not be defeated, i have to sit here and be the strongest person i know when even inside i am breaking down, I have to bottle up all my anger and hate towards the situation, it's not the easiest even when you can see the other person that is trying to destroy you constantly failing, but until i can prove that failure i am at the mercy and misery of her lies and bullshit....At least in my world, one doesn't use their mouth to end their fights, when I get into a fight i always go ready to win and ready to lose, but if i'm gonna lose i'm gonna use my fists.... I'm gonna go down swinging...always fighting for what i believe in, and who is most important in my life.

Current Mood: Determined.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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