Looking Back in Anger II.

The chaos to this move is almost over and the next step is around the corner, But i cannot say i am happy due to the current turn of events... threats and intimidation are never a way to deal with me, I may not react but i will let it simmer...i will remeber it... it's bullshit how things turned out and while i understand her reasons i also find them unfair and unjust, i should have had till the end of the month but of course games have been played in terms of them for some time.. i had an option to make a full exit when i was on vacation back in July the reality is that is probaly when i should have made a decision to exit and do something else with my life.. at this point i just feel lost and angry.... I can see where some of the issues started and i can see the fact that some of the issues would have been dealt with by me making a final exit in the summer... now i venture on into the great unknown due to someone else's issues and lack of respect of tenant rights or basic human respect... I don't trust anyone anymore.. nothing like wasting three years into making a house a home to have a knife in the back...

Current Mood: Anger.
No man can think clearly when his fists are
clenched.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Search This Blog