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Sins Of Youth

The longer this journey takes i find it's about a man I used to be a long time ago, No one cares who I am Now or was as a father... It's about the fractured fairy tale that was my fucking childhood when i was younger than he is now, the fucked up family dynamic i have had over the years, and the fact before I was twenty I did a little jail time for stupidity? this is the man I am defined as, Not the writer, not the poet, not the guy that spent ten years upgrading my education so i could make a fucking differences in the world..the guy who gave up on that idea just to be a father and did the right thing and went back to her city and fought a long court battle to be a dad, Nope I am fucking defined by being a street kid with a rough upbringing? you're fucking right I'm bitter and Angry... I had to fight to become who I am and Now I have to fucking fight to get some semblance of that life back? it's becoming harder and harder to fight these battles with everyone knocking me down, It's not truly about who I am it's about who I'm not... More than one trusted confidante has said to fuck it all and go to Windsor, with all the bullshit and poison swirling around Hamilton it's not a bad idea... how the fuck is it even possible that I am a violent man when any sane man at this point would have more than likely snapped and kicked in a fucking door instead of trying to wait and deal with the slow process that is the court system, If i am Violent why I have I not acted Violent? why am I dealing with this thru correct channels? Sometimes I have wondered what my life would have been like If I had taken and alternate route, but the truth to the entire matter is that I would have made the same mistakes and decisions and I would be less a man than I am now... I have had to deal with the fact that my entire heart and Soul has been cut from my body, My entire reason for being, and the one thing I have strived for my entire adult life, I have basiclly been told that all of it is worthless and that I am a worthless human being, based on a great lie and one other person's great need for supremacy and control...her Word alone does Not and Will Not Invalidate who I am... and Neither will the sins of my youth or the boy I was...

Current Mood: Angry.
Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD. Psalm 25:7

Wrath - Inappropriate feelings of hatred and anger. (...)Impatience with the law, or seeking revenge outside of justice, such as with unnecessary vigilantism. Wishing to do evil or harm to others.

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