Skip to main content

Necessary Evil III

Most of the bad guys in the real world don't know that they are bad guys. You don't get a flashing warning sign that you're about to damn yourself. It sneaks up on you when you aren't looking

There are things in my life I don't like and It's time to start addressing some of them, ands eradicating them from my life, but for the moment some of those things I dislike are the things that keep me going every day, a man cannot live and eat and breathe on hate alone, i have taken a half step back from all of these conflicting and corrupting demons within me as well as taking a minute to look at what I have, what i have had, what I need and what's Important. I am well aware of where I stand in my life and it's Nowhere close to where i want to be, I should happy as hell right now and Instead I am am constantly given to anger and/or depressed. I know how to direct that sadness and anger into the right direction and/blow off steam with some of my entertainments or this toy bullshit, and I am making plans to enjoy myself with trusted friends, but there is always going to be something missing, so my choices are use everything about me, both the light and the darkness to man up and fucking fight or fall into the abyss and become the demon I always have been. it would be very easy to become him once again, and No One would miss me. I was always happier being a ghost busking on a street corner in Toronto, Niagara or Windsor. No one knew me, and that was the way I liked it. i was a wraith someone you passed by in the night. it was easier. I got away with a lot of shit that this adult responsible me would never be capable of. I feared no one and nothing, still Do... and I spoke my mind without biting a forked tongue. then like now I never backed downfrom a fight but back then I was a lot more physical in what i wanted, then I got fuckin tamed.

In fact Directed as a weapon, the Old me might even be an Improvement.

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Nothing's Free, Alice Cooper

Animals don't behave like men,' he said. 'If they have to fight, they fight; and if they have to kill they kill. But they don't sit down and set their wits to work to devise ways of spoiling other creatures' lives and hurting them. They have dignity and animality.

I learned the bad guys are not always bad, the good guys are not always good, and to quote Captain Barbossa, the parameters are like rules, mostly guidelines. And that it takes a little bit of bad boy to fight the evil in the world.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more