Skip to main content

.....Till All Are Gone! VI: Scorched Earth

Not everyone is so far over the edge they can't come back. Sometimes people just... just get lost. They just need someone to show them how to come back.

Spending a day and splitting my fucking melon open a little is not the ideal way i want to spend and afternoon, but at this point the more and more i look upon the albatross around my neck in terms of this toy bullshit the more i want away from it, 300$ in arrears almost 2k owed before that and the other person in the equation is a ghost, theres an answer for that, it's a Scorched earth policy... get rid off all of it, recover my fucking costs, and walk away. I have more imprtant things that should be dominating my time rather than being miserable about this pathetic bullshit that is nothing more than an annoyance, at this popint walking away not only seems like a fucking option, it seems like the only option, it's payed legal bills, it's dealt with things and made it a little easier to continue the fight to get my little man home, but as I look upon decisions that are upcoming in the future esp the decision to spend 250$ for a weekend to maybe, and i mean maybe recover some of my costs in the summer, I'm thinking that maybe even may will be my swan swong. it's time to be about me and to be a grown up and have this pathetic hobby be something in a glass cabinet that marks a period of time in my life, something that was fun at one point and i enjoyed at one point before it made me miserable but at this point i need to move past it, I need to Grow up and be done with it. there are other things i need to do in this life, More important things.

Current Mood: Angry.

I told you long ago that being a real wizard means sacrifice. It means knowing things no one else does. I told you that it meant you might have to act upon what you knew, and knew to be right, even though the whole world set its hand against you. Or that you might have to do horrible, necessary things.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...