The War XXXI: Pyschological Chess

Every step in life is merely part of a game. Every piece is necessary, but if you do not know how to control the game, then you become one of the pieces that are meant to be sacrificed.

It is interesting when it seems only one is truly fighting the fucking battle on my end, I am royally pissed off currently by the situation that was discovered this week... it's time to bare those famous teeth of mine and start ripping out some flesh and blood so fucking things get done. this a game of chess for my child's soul, and when the pawns do nothing the game can be lost. I am sitting here brooding but that will only last so long until; i decide to put on my big boy boots and start kicking down doors... it's fucking ridiculous that i am the only one fighting, yet agian, story of my life.. It's been a constant freind my entire life, one war or battle agianst the world or the system my entire fucking life... it should not be the determining factor of his as well, i grew up strong from my adversity but I wanted better for him, But it's not my doing that has created this... History has repeated itself, the diffrence is, I am here, I will never fucking back down and I have done nothing wrong, I'm standing here in the Light ready to face you, I'm not the one hiding in the shadows and hiding behind smoke and mirrors and the legal system that you are an expert manipulator of... I don't fear the system, Nor do I fear you, the only thing I fear is him growing up without me and not knowing how hard and how much I fought for him, even if i had to do it alone.

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Mood: Out on the Streets, Twisted Sister.

You’re a clever strategist, but not all battles require tricks. Sometimes the simplest way to kill something is to swim up to it and bite it in half.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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