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Guardian Devil....

When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous. We are timid only when there is something we can still cling to

Hell's Kitchen is my neighborhood. I prowl the rooftops and alleyways at night. Watching from the darkness. Forever in darkness. A guardian devil.

I am still fucking Standing here, there is Nothing to lose..I may be damned but all that makes me is a flawed Guardian Devil, Trying to do the right thing By my child.. I would rather hide in the darkness and Continue the battle than be told that I cannot...you may have stripped me of everything but the one thing you never took was My honor, I still have that, it's only because of that you were Not exposed earlier, Out of the respect I had for your Mother... I stayed away, while you tore the one thing from My chest that means the most to me in this life... and the next.. i will gladly Go to my death and my rightful place in hell knowing that i did everything I could to fight you for that little boy's soul.. I don't want him raised with your twisted world view and your twisted fucking values.. I've seen your world of excuses and politics... It's Not a nice place, At least me , Everything I have, especially now has been paid for blood sweat and tears thru sheer determination and a refusal to back down, Even the things I had thought you had destroyed that I had fought so long for before I met you and during the first relationship you could not destroy completely.. the one thing you cannot take from me is the fact I am a fighter, A warrior, a person that never backs down... when i'm backed into a corner... that's when I'm my most dangerous... when I am in that corner because i have spent four years trying to protect my cub? I'm even more dangerous, Finding out that you the worst kind of scum in this life.. something even lower than what you accessed me of being? I'm No longer fucking dangerous, I've become a Devil, A guardian Devil... I am perfectly fine with my demons and they become my strengths in times like these where I can and will let them take complete control to feel the rage and the emptiness I have inside, I know the one thing I hold to be True, As empty as I feel I will never know the emptiness that you are... My soul may be forfeit but at least I still have one.. I will continue to have one and fight for his before your corrupt him into darkness, the one good thing i have done in this hollowed out shell of my life is become his father, it's not about to ever be something I allow you to force me out of being... Or allow anyone else to force me to walk away, I will stay in the shadows fighting this battle as long as the heart in my chest, the husk it is, still draws blood...you have taken many things from me in the life, In this battle, But you have never taken My honor... you never will... that's the one thing that will always make me a better person that you, i have honor... what do you have? Blood on your fucking hands, Oblivion, that's all you have, That's all you fucking deserve. You didn't betray me this time... You betrayed the woman that gave you life, you betrayed your father's memory, and worst of all you betrayed our Child... Those are your sins.. that's what you are accountable for being.. something less than human, I might be a noble demon and a guardian devil, But I don't know what you are anymore... I can't even find the effort to fucking hate you, because you don't deserve that emotion, All my emotions now are completely focused on the road ahead, the Love i will always have for My son... the things that matter, Not a dark shadow that only Rules one fucking thing, My past..My history, Without You I wouldn't be anything, But you succeeded for a time making me nothing, it's time for me to return the fucking favor, the one Victory I can have here Is my Soul.. But i will fight till the end of time to stop your darkness (an evil greater than mine.) from corrupting him... I know my darkness, I know exactly where it comes from, it's not something i can hide or run away from, it's still something that gives me strength so that I know that I will never be Like him, even with whatever soiled brush you try to paint me with, I accept that shadows and the evil coursing thru my veins... I've always been one of the fallen, that's a destiny I can't escape, but He can, he should.. But not with you as the sole driving force in his life... I'm Not defeated, not yet, but even if that was to happen, Which i fucking doubt, I'm going down in flames Doing the right thing...

Life as a defeated warrior with dignity is lot better than the Queen ruling without it

Current Mood: Determination, Protection.
Current Music: Within Temptation, Somewhere

There’s more to being a warrior than killing. A true warrior — the best warrior — isn’t cruel or mean. He doesn’t claw an enemy who can’t fight back. Where’s the honor in that?

Whatever you are physically...male or female, strong or weak, ill or healthy--all those things matter less than what your heart contains. If you have the soul of a warrior, you are a warrior. All those other things, they are the glass that contains the lamp, but you are the light inside

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