I do Not Like waiting in limbo to take the next step of this battle to the fucking forefront. it's time to push fucking forward and end this battle.. i have sat in the trenches waiting for this to end, it's no longer about my life or about anything in this world save the end of this battle and that little boys soul, I don't like staring at the same dark limbo I have been suffering in for what seems like forever, but it hasn't been forever, it's been just over four years, this blog and the memories rattling inside my head that i am trying so hard not to forget.... stand testament to the fact that once upon a time i had a nice life, that it' wasn't all stryfe and conflict, that once upon a time i could find happiness within the seconds instead of just counting down, Hours, Days, Minutes... waiting for the next chess move, trying to predict what the hell the lunatic fringe would come up with next... I have No fear of this world or the next, the only fear i have on this earth is the fear that one day I won't be able to fight, that for some reason or another that this will end and will not end the way it should, I have never backed down from anyone or anything In my life, I have the moral high ground here, I'm not about to start now.. My life and soul are forfeit, it's not about me.. this little bit of happiness i am experiencing right now only saves to dull the pain but it's always there, it only takes one dark and stormy night where i am alone with my thoughts for the darkness and despair and the anger to return... but I know the deal, i signed on for this the day i became a father, to never walk away, to never back down to protect him, that's all I'm doing.. Standing tall because he needs to me to.. his mother didn't do a good enough job... it's time time to meet her on the battlefield with all of my weapons drawn and have the same mercy she afforded me back in 2011, that is which to say, None. She truly has no soul, and why i may burn in the pits of hell, I will still have my valor, i will still have my honor, you are and will remain and empty shell devoid of a soul, you don't deserve anything but oblivion... The choices you have given me by your actions only lead me to one conclusion, and that conclusion is that I stand and fight until the battle is won or I'm a corpse... the second option isn't an option, my cold dead hands would rise from there grave to continue this battle, as long as my soul still needs to protect his, i will never back down.. I will never be anything or anyone except the person i need to be, For him, it's always been about him, and that's something as hard as you've tried you can never fucking take away.
Never point a gun at anything you aren’t sure you want dead.
Current Mood: Determined.
Current Music: Gettysburg, Iced Earth
You can’t change what has already happened. But you choose what to do next. Which means that you only cross over to the dark side if you choose to do it.
It isn’t good to hold on too hard to the past. You can’t spend your whole life looking back. Not even when you can’t see what lies ahead. All you can do is keep on keeping on, and try to believe that tomorrow will be what it should be—even if it isn’t what you expected.
Fear and anger always come hand in hand. Anger is my hiding place from fear, my shield and my sword against it
There’s more magic in a baby’s first giggle than in any firestorm a wizard can conjure up, and don’t let anyone tell you any different.
It’s what you do with the want that matters.
It isn’t enough to stand up and fight darkness. You’ve got to stand apart from it, too. You’ve got to be different from it.
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