Mercenary Attitude VII

We are all born to love people and use things. Unfortunately, we grow to love things and use people...

I'm sick of freeloaders and fakes that think they can get something for nothing from me, I'd rather have an isolationist attitude than fucking deal with people who cry pauper every fucking time they have drama in their lives... I'm not taking care of others anymore. I'm fed up with doing so. It shouldn't take a fucking year to recover items or money from deadbeat assholes. It's very interesting at the end of the fucking day when you need help, whose actually there and who is the fucking albatross around the neck. I'm sick of so called friends freeloading off me and doing fucking favours and being patient. I have a war to fight, I have battles to fucking win. I'm fed up with white trash that takes advantage just because they think they can. It's not just one person either, it's a mentality of entitlement and I shouldn't have to beg for what belongs to me....from anyone, it's fuckin ridiculous that when I need some help only a select few have my back... And the rest play fucking games. I'm done with all that, If I have to have an isolationist attitude and say fuck it to some of these people in my life, I will. Some things take precedence over others. I come first, my child comes first. I have no patience for anyone who owes me anything.

Current Mood: Angry

Greed is like a dark side of every man, and you could not see it from the appearance of a man, but in the inside the greedy beast already dominating you.

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

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