Skip to main content

The War: 2017

You think because I'm willing to use the enemy's tactics, that they're no longer my enemy?

There is a strong possibility that I might be able to see the end of this... but coming off the last few weeks I don't have any more patience for anything getting in my way, and I'm holding everyone accountable.. all of those that owe me money, the people that claim to be my supports, the friends and Family that supposedly have my back except for the most part when I really need it and they don't.. this is the time for judgement and for battle.. I am at war Alone.. and this war is and will end one way or another very soon... It cannot be because of me that it goes south... I'm in a fucking corner right now because of her chess move... it's just more stalling and a way for her to create chaos for me in terms of planning... but it wasn't entirely unexpected. i will find a solution i don't care what it takes.. this is my son we are talking about.. fuck Christmas, fuck visiting friends.. at the end of the day my only priority is ending this fucking war and having involvement in my son's life again.. everything else, including midnight phone calls and machinations by idiots that are unimportant as far as my life goes... this is where I end the game.. Six years of hell with the unimaginable happening, I need to be in my child's life.. that's my only priority, that's the only priority. get In my way of that and you will be removed, from my life, from my direction, from right in front of me psychically if it comes down to that.. I'm done with any other options other than seeing this battle thru to the end.. everything else is a fucking distraction and I am done with Distractions. I'm still standing after fighting this war for over half a decade and I might not be standing tall in victory yet, but I'm standing and i have never ever backed down, no matter what the odds were. when and if this ends it ends on my terms and not a minute before.. but there is no way I will ever back down... regardless of outside influences, if it comes down to it... I'll end this without help. it's all I've ever known, the fight. why stop now? the game is almost over... it's just about manipulating the pawns now... I know how good you are at it... I might as well do the same.. it does me no harm at this late stage to take the high road and pretend like we aren't the same, down here in the mud.. I'm done pretending that I'm better than you in this little slugfest.. for the sake of that child.. I will scorch the earth, if I'm going to do it for every one else i MIGHT AS WELL START WITH YOU.

I'm sick of explaining myself to every person that i ask for assistance and dealing with the bureaucracy of that bullshit as well.. there's a reason why i have always fought my battle alone without asking for help unless i truly fucking needed it, because at the end of the day these fucking idiots make you jump thru hoops for nothing.. and all it does is distract from the actual goal rather than give any helpful assistance in the way of resolution. I'm going to try every fucking option i have, at this point I have no fucking Choice.. but i hate dealing with these fucking asshole yes people that constantly change when i have one that knows the situation and i am not going to be going into another situation to explain myself again to a new person... I'm too close to the end of my war, And believe me it is My war.. to ever deal with the fucking bureaucracy again at this point... i shouldn't have to constantly explain my fucking situation to get help. Fuck that.

Current Mood: Angry, Determined.

There's only one proper way for a professional soldier to die: the last bullet of the last battle of the last war.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...