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Dues In Absentia


You're so goddamn frail

Failing for a change
You just had to know all about the world
But you will never know

...and it did cost me my relationship. Whatever. I have options. She's not the only one out there and maybe I know who my soulmate is after all... Even tho that way is damaged and broken and I don't want to look back. There is a third party involved who means everything to me. So yeah... The last year was fun and she fucking loved me when no one else didn't. But it's done and it's time to make some choices for me and my family.  There's only one person In that equation that truly fucking matters down there anyways. But this is a shitty fucking way to go out.

I am so fucking done with relationships now. If I can't be happy in them what the fuck is the point. I am no one ones second choice... I refuse to be I'd rather be fucking alone. I am fine alone, I've always been.

At least now I can speak my mind and not have someone judge me...this rabid dog doesn't like being muzzled by anyone and I won't be. You want cold. You'll be surprised at how cold my heart can get.

The world is on fire and I will be the artic circle not melting.

I'm a bad person, I'm a bad dude? I was a bad dude long before you fucking met me... I turned fucking 20 in the joint the day Tupac died. You either accept it or you don't. I don't care anymore. Not about you and not about the other dumb cunt in Niagara. I am always going to be the person I am and the sum of my fucking experiences, they have made me the man I am and the man I was... None of that has fucking changed or ever fucking will. I am a hard ass and I am set and broken in my ways.

What was taken away meant more to me than you realize, and that's why it won't be forgiven. I will love you.. you had me when the world was dark and proved I could love again and you will always mean something...

...but right now I am having fucking trouble accepting or dealing with it.

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