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I'm getting real sick of the ongoing pity party. The fact that behaviours aren't changing and are getting worse isn't a good sign. I wouldn't tolerate this abuse from a fucking woman.  I am seriously reevaluating things here as much as I don't fucking want to. I have to think of my own mental health and no one is allowed to treat me like shit. I've cut people out of my life for less. It's time to think about that.


There is a reality that I may be taking care of someone for the rest of his life thanks to his behaviours and apathy, and it may likely start to become an even bigger money pit that it has already become. I have a family out there that is more important than this shit. I am slowly mentally distancing myself from being involved here. I have to just to protect myself.


The fact I am not appreciated for the things I do and that I am sacrificing my own mental health so that someone else can live comfortably is starting to piss me off. I don't know if this affects me being with my family or if that's just her latest justification for abandoning me again but at this point I wonder if the mood swings, the laziness and the apathy are worth being here and things remaining status quo. I have options. I can be somewhere else as I am constantly fucking reminded. But I'm here making sacrifices because that's the choice I'm making. He didn't abandon me in my moment of need, I won't in his. But the fact that it's turning into a constant real bad situation has me wondering if I shouldn't be on my own. No one gets to disrespect me, esp not someone I've sacrificed a lot for. This is why I'm not with her, this is why I'm not with the most recent one. This is the reason I may not be be here in a few months.


Eventually, one gets fed up. I am At a breaking point.

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