Skip to main content

Sweet True Lies.




It's not just you that I have a problem trusting or getting along with in my life. I tend to walk away from a lot a people in my life due to my abandonment issues and trust issues. The only difference is that I know that you will be there in some fashion at the end whether I like it or not, and I think certain other people that should be there or should be here now and aren't will be nothing more than forgotten memories to me and you. 


I don't have a lot of patience for people and I do know the havoc that was wrought by certain influences and decisions back in our relationship. Not all that you have forgiven me for. Maybe one day. I know it's still a huge hurt for you to heal from.


I never should have made the choice to leave niagara either time, you won't admit it to me but you liked it when I was close... it gave you security, something lacking in your life and I made a lot of the wrong decisions when I should have done differently. Foolish pride on my part, I figured I wasn't as broken as I clearly am.


You are my favorite memory, one I will always fight to return to. I'm sick of the time of getting old and having these amazing adventures and memories without each other. We need to go back to what we were and have these kind of adventures together. Drinking without you kinda sucks.


I liked it better when we were at war. At least the battle lines were clear. Loving you and dealing with you're mental health sucks.


Go be you're whore for you're king that won't even kiss you on the mouth. I won't be here the next time you call.Enjoy your scum.  I'm sick of being the forgiving one and always being in love with you every time you come back. 


Next time I won't answer. That's a promise.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...