Skip to main content

Sweet True Lies.




It's not just you that I have a problem trusting or getting along with in my life. I tend to walk away from a lot a people in my life due to my abandonment issues and trust issues. The only difference is that I know that you will be there in some fashion at the end whether I like it or not, and I think certain other people that should be there or should be here now and aren't will be nothing more than forgotten memories to me and you. 


I don't have a lot of patience for people and I do know the havoc that was wrought by certain influences and decisions back in our relationship. Not all that you have forgiven me for. Maybe one day. I know it's still a huge hurt for you to heal from.


I never should have made the choice to leave niagara either time, you won't admit it to me but you liked it when I was close... it gave you security, something lacking in your life and I made a lot of the wrong decisions when I should have done differently. Foolish pride on my part, I figured I wasn't as broken as I clearly am.


You are my favorite memory, one I will always fight to return to. I'm sick of the time of getting old and having these amazing adventures and memories without each other. We need to go back to what we were and have these kind of adventures together. Drinking without you kinda sucks.


I liked it better when we were at war. At least the battle lines were clear. Loving you and dealing with you're mental health sucks.


Go be you're whore for you're king that won't even kiss you on the mouth. I won't be here the next time you call.Enjoy your scum.  I'm sick of being the forgiving one and always being in love with you every time you come back. 


Next time I won't answer. That's a promise.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...