Friday the 13th Part V - A New Beginning

We need to start over. I don’t know where, I don’t know how. I wont beg and I wont booed to ask you to be my wife. But I am here. You know where to find me and I will always be here. Some serious questions and thoughts have presented themselves this week, but i just want our beautiful moment, our lives have been wracked with enough trauma and pain. I just want to give you the thing I’ve always wanted you to have, you’re safe in my arms, you’ve always known that.

I know what my responsibilities are. And maybe it is time to start over. We have that option we have always had that option.

I will always do what’s right by you and our son. Even if it costs me personally. Thats not even a question. And I have my reasons for standing my my ground all these years. It’s just the rules of engagement have changed. We are in a better place now regardless of where we are.

It’s been five years since you sent those messages and we finally made peace. I should have chosen you then. Im sorry I didn’t. Im choosing you now. When you’re ready.

It’s been 24 of my 48 years and I have never forgotten the meal at Casadora’s. Or the fact that I still have the hemp necklace from that night. You have been part of me half my life. That’s how I know we are forever. It just has to come.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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