Mercenary Attitude IX

Lets burn some fucking bridges, I’m sick of everyone that thinks they are supposedly my friend that only has a use for me for their own agenda. This weekend will tell exactly what happens next with everything but I’m pretty sure that with my responsibilities and concerns that I can continue to do my own thing and be just as happy, probably happier not bothering to do anything with these associated losers from Hamilton. I left this city once, I have no problem from disassociating from other social circles here. Same as leaving the drama associating with people that seem to love it.

I walked away from the con circuit once before and now that it is becoming mixed with other local drama that I don’t give give a damn about. I’ll gladly walk the fuck away again. I don’t need other people. I’ll just do whatever the fuck is needed to do in my life. I don’t need this and my interest in the whole scene is waning anyways.

This cosplay crap stopped being fun as soon as it started. So I’m done. I need peace in my life not lame ass drama from insignificant people that aren’t even in the orbit of my life. Anyone that wants to play games? Yeah. Doors that way. I will protect the peace in my personal life by any means necessary.

Part of the reason I have always had a mercenary’s attitude about anything I’ve done in this life is because at the end of the fucking day it’s to protect myself. And needing anyone out there is simply too much of a liability. There are those I care about sure. But to involve myself with these losers, that was a ducking tactical mistake. I was fine doing my own thing alone. I don’t need anyone, and anything.

When something takes the joy out of my little Escapes in this world, I’ll simply pretend they don’t exist. Period.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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