If Darkness Had A Son.

I am that child. I am the biological son of darkness. I’m not sad he’s dead and gone. But the sons of the father should never have been bestowed on the son and I’ll be dammed if my son is painted with the same brush from a betrayer in his own maternal side of the family. I don’t mind going down. It’s part of my life. I fall, I rise I rebuild. I’m a fucking Phoenix, just ask my patronus. But he deserved better. He deserves better. I’ll spend the rest of my life playing this game with his mother if I have to do one day he has better.

But I’ll be damned if I let any one esp a family Member demean or destroy him. There are very few things in this world I will fall upon my sword for. Much less multiple times. This is one of them. I don’t mind being destroyed. I always come back better. Harder.

You might have destroyed her. I know all of this played a part in destroying me agian and agian. I will not let my darkness and the darkness in that family tree destroy him. I’ll go out in a blaze of bloody Fucking gory revenge first. With a smile on my face.

No one hurts her. No one gets to hurt my son. Not anymore. They deserve peace after all they have been thru. They deserve better.

Even if that better isn’t me.

That being said, I deserve to be treated better. I always have. I didn’t do anything wrong and I tried to do the right thing by you and as a single father. I was just dealt a bad hand in life.

I laid down my weapons agianst you a long time. I’m not going back to that war. But I didn’t do for you. Never for you.

I did it for him. I didn’t want the never ending war my life was. He deserves better.

Current Music: Crimfall, it’s a long road.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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