I don’t lack for companionship or freinds. I can be with whoever I want. Why am I going to chase anyone anymore is beyond me, I have a fun life and I do fun things… why care if I have a past that once upon a time I wanted to go back to and fix a fractured fucking fairy tale. I have better options.
I don’t care at the end of the day about anyone being in my life because let’s be honest no one has my back except myself. You’d think if you truly loved me you’d be around instead of playing games for 25 years. I deserve better, I’ve always deserved better. And now when my life is better for the lack of you being in it, I’m not regretting the fact you’ve managed to push yourself away agian. That’s on you, it’s gone from apathy, to anger to nothingness.
All you’ve managed to do my entire life you’ve been involved in it is attempt to control me and keep me trapped in a place where I would simply need to depend on you. I’ve been on my own over thirty years… I didn’t need you before then, I don’t need you now. I can and will walk away.
We are natural opposites, it’s the way of things. It’s always better when we don’t hate each other but maybe it’s an improvement when we don’t care about the other as well.
When I have real world issues to deal with that may get aggressive you’re selfish wants and needs aren’t a fucking priority. I have responsibilities and more than that I will protect my friends as much as I will protect my family. If you can’t handle that, enjoy jealousy.
You wouldn’t love me as much as you fucking do if I ever waver from my principles, protecting you is just as important as protecting the others I love. But I can deal with you being angry. You had your opportunity but you picked a bad day to start a fight.
I will grow silent.
Every time we fight. It’s easy to grow cold agian.
One day I will forget there is warmth and hope remaining.
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