Skip to main content

Xero Fucks Given.



I don’t lack for companionship or freinds. I can be with whoever I want. Why am I going to chase anyone anymore is beyond me, I have a fun life and I do fun things… why care if I have a past that once upon a time I wanted to go back to and fix a fractured fucking fairy tale. I have better options. 


I don’t care at the end of the day about anyone being in my life because let’s be honest no one has my back except myself. You’d think if you truly loved me you’d be around instead of playing games for 25 years. I deserve better, I’ve always deserved better. And now when my life is better for the lack of you being in it, I’m not regretting the fact you’ve managed to push yourself away agian. That’s on you, it’s gone from apathy, to anger to nothingness.


All you’ve managed to do my entire life you’ve been involved in it is attempt to control me and keep me trapped in a place where I would simply need to depend on you. I’ve been on my own over thirty years… I didn’t need you before then, I don’t need you now.  I can and will walk away. 


We are natural opposites, it’s the way of things. It’s always better when we don’t hate each other but maybe it’s an improvement when we don’t care about the other as well. 


When I have real world issues to deal with that may get aggressive you’re selfish wants and needs aren’t a fucking priority. I have responsibilities and more than that I will protect my friends as much as I will protect my family. If you can’t handle that, enjoy jealousy. 


You wouldn’t love me as much as you fucking do if I ever waver from my principles, protecting you is just as important as protecting the others I love. But I can deal with you being angry. You had your opportunity but you picked a bad day to start a fight.


I will grow silent. 

Every time we fight. It’s easy to grow cold agian.


One day I will forget there is warmth and hope remaining. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more