Skip to main content

A Game of You.



You are absolutley correct, Today should not have have happened. Confusion reigns and i not longer know what to think so am i going to be preidctable and obvious and do the usual malignant disruptive behavior so it's doesn't affect me.. being stone cold to the passage of time protects me more than i want sometimes.But i don't wish to create Havoc in anyone else's enviorment, i am crippled by my own emotions and failures more than anyone who has ever tired to understand me will know, and i feel like have spread my poison once agian, i'm not a hard man to love, i'm a deadly man to love. everything dies and everyone goes away, it's better that way. that way i can't hurt anyone that i love or that might love me outside of bloodties which have to put up with my shit long term i have basically given up on trying to find that person, a soulmate or a connection, i have the feeling i might have shattered that today, and i was scared to death to see her in the first place....
"The price of getting what you want, is getting what once you wanted." ~ Dream ("Dream Country").

Back to your regularly scheduled behaviors, Same Bat channel, Same Bat time....


Current Mood:Still sad, misunderstanding.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions.  And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block.  I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...
Post a Comment
Read more