You Never Met A Motherfucker Quite Like Me

It's been one of those days... i am fucking losing it... i am so fucking pissed at the unseen bullshit i am wondering what the fuck was the point exactly to everything i have accomplished in my life.. jesus fucking christ i can't even get a goddamn cheque cashed and have to go downtown to do so... i am wishing sometimes that i hadn't bothered improving my life and getting my shit together... everything i have had as a result of late has turned to shit... i'll tell you this... i never had some goof landlord turning my life into hell when i wasn't working....I just fucked them over with the landlord tribunal.... i should fight him but i don't give a shit... and the whole paycheque thing is nonsense.. i should have more fucking hours.. i went nuts today looking for work.. so pissed off... it's seems like i'm desending into the blackest hole and there is no escape.. i know my darker places and right now i'm in one... you fucking people better look out.... there is only so much rage and pollution one can deal with before one snaps.... my enemies know who they are... i don't want to have resort to the old ways but if that's what it takes to get things back to whatever passes for normal in this fucked up life of mine i'll do it.

Current mood: Pissed.
Current Music: Circus, Britney Spears.

Demoralize the enemy from within by surprise, terror, sabotage, assassination. This is the war of the future.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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