Skip to main content

Survivalism.


I should not be living paycheque to paycheque and having to scrounge for food the last week the kind of hours i have been working... my paycheque today was ridiculous.... i work insane fucking hours... something's got to give.. if i have to go back to a fast food joint i will... what the fuck? speaking of which... some idiot from the place i used to work downtown called me today which is pretty fucked..... i'd rather busk all day then eat 100 dollars off each paycheque cuz someone fucked up his numbers thanks.... it seems any time things start turning positive and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel something else fucks up.. well at least right now all i see at the end of the darkness is more fucking darkness... hopefully the apartment on iverness turns out today but whatever.... it's all bullshit.. i'm right back to the fucking place i was 2 years ago where all i can afford is a shiity apartment cuz i have four hundred dollars in my pocket.... guess karma's a bitch.. this continues into christmas i have examining other options... I can't constantly deal with this shit,.

Current Mood: Frustrated.
Current Music: When I Grow Up, Pussycat Dolls.

Do or do not... there is no try.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more