Intimidation Factor II

I am fucking done with being intimidated, I should not be sitting here waiting r things to happen i need to make my world go back to normal, the saddest part of this whole world is I tried to be good and do everything right and the world still decided to crap on me, then again it's not the world that did these things to me, i should still be in Windsor i should have finished school and not chased a dream that would turn into a nightmare and then a maggot infested corpse... if she wanted to destroy my life and destroy a man there are easier fucking ways to do it... I wish I didn't know about my son sometimes or that i had made the choice to be a deadbeat dad, I hate the fact i have been pronounced guilty by no one yet between my ex and the government there is really nothing i can do except wait for the scales of justice to slowly turn in my favor, how long that can take i do not know, but i wish it would speed up.. I'm sick of sitting a round with a pain in the gut of my stomach telling me I'm helpless and having the weight of these accusations play mind games with my head... a weaker man would not be standing here today.... a weaker man would have taken the cowards way out...I'm no Coward.. regardless that little boy needs a father.. even if it is to find me in 15 years time to answer his questions.

Current Mood: Angry,Depressed.
The ones who hate me the most are the ones who don't scare me.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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