He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask) V: 2013 edition

It's Nice to be home, Nothing like taking a few days of just doing nothing at all and chilling and seeing old freinds and settling into old behaviors to distract from the ongoing darkness in my life...I was at my best here, and I still fit the mold, I could go back to the person i was in an instant, thing's havent changed here for me like they have everywhere else... my social circle was and is here, these are people that stand by me all thru my life, just like my family members...this is where I grew up and I could eaily slip back into being a university student and hanging out In a millisecond and finish things left undone If i chose to.. there are always going to be options here for me... I know exactly why i left but I also know this will always be a safe place and even more this is a safe place should I choose to return after the battle is over with what i hold most precious.... This is home... I know that regardless of anything that happens now in the rest of my life i can always come back here and be judged on my person and the character that I am, the freind that I am, and the Man that I was and still Am, I haven't changed, My circumstances Have.

Current Mood: Happy.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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