Leaving On A Jet Plane...

Once Agian I am leaving windsor, Not quite on a jet plane but on train, I am once agian leaving home, it's nice to come back here for the constant reminder of exaclty who the fuck I am, and who I always have been. there are little things like the car in leddy library that keep me grounded and remind me exactly why I left and what's more important, but knowing that there is alwys going to be the possibility of return to exactly the place i feel most at home is a great a feeling... there are not many places in Ontario where i can be randomly walking up california street and have someone call out my old Nickname and it's someone I know and two minutes later we are cracking jokes about or respective hockey teams... there are reasons i put down roots here, there are reason this was place I went from being a teenager to becoming a serious adult. My responsibilties aren't here but My freinds are. this is always the place that i'm going to come back to, Mostly to remeber exactly who i am, that person, my Character.. Exactly who I am, even broken and beaten that person has and will never change.. I'm better than that.. I just needed a reminder.

Current Mood: Depressed
Current Music: Adele, Someone like You.
You can take my life, but you'll never break me.
So bring me your worst...
And I will definitely give you mine.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact. You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family. Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...

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