Skip to main content

The Rage....

I Am feeling nostaligic and looking back as much as I am looking forward to things... I can remeber that there is always a purpose, there was one when when i was here... there is still one now... not everything has been taken away from me... while the last month has been dark for everyone around that month is over.. the time of mourning is through it's time to move forward... while i may do it with a heavier heart and with conflicting feelings, it still needs to be done... I'm not the One that took everything away... I have safe places to be, I have a history of being the person that I am, I haven't changed, Circumstances around me have.. and that's it... i come here and feel ten years younger... it's been 10 years since the year I had complete freedom and owed nothing to No one because I wasn't aware that i had responsibilties, as I sit on my street and wonder about things, i remeber you not I have always made the choices to do things.... 10 years ago I was free and had no responsibilities to you by your choice, Nine years ago you made a choice to involve me agian, and you should know my character, when it come's to family... I'm never ever going to fucking back down, espcially in regard to my children. i Can come back here in a minute and abandon everything but right now for a number of reasons that's not an option... that and the whole fact i have no intention of Failing... I'm Not afraid to fail, But I Don't know how to i never have known how... I'll Fight until there is no other option left. Always have.

Current Mood: Nostalgic.
I don't like to fail. I hate to fail. But I'm not afraid of it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...
Post a Comment
Read more