Black Christmas II

As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remain the same
But tomorrow today's gone down in flames
Throw the match, set the past up ablaze

Another day, Another battle... But this time I was getting the Upper hand by merely doing things I'm supposed and having the facts prepared and letting them destroy themselves with their own words. merry Christmas Nicholas, for the first time since this ordeal began I do believe that Vindication is in sight.. when i get a lawyer backtracking on her own bullshit words because they know i have them boxed into a corner, the more i can do to prove the man I am the better i am and then fucking know it... this will be the last Christmas without Him, and that's not just a promise that's an absolute eventuality... it's time to deal with all of this and end this.. I will be setting a date the next time and making sure that this is the end, I am enjoying the holiday season so far even tho there is something missing within the heart that hollow feeling that i already have, but my life has taken a turn for a better i just have to use the positive momentum positively and don't fall into old habits or get distracted, it's time to only focus on the things i need to focus on nothing else, it's also time to focus on the people that are important in my life that I can spend time with and be thankful for that.

Current Mood: Sad, Determined.
Current Music: Eminem, Beautiful Pain' (ft. Sia)
No matter what I do, I'll come to the same end…termination.
Christmas is a holiday that persecutes the lonely, the frayed, and the rejected.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

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